A happiness researcher and a relationship expert teamed up to write about how we can all feel more loved. They argue it’s the key to happiness.
By Maggie Penman, writing in the Washington Post (February 12, 2026)
You say love is essential for our survival as a species. Why is that?
Harry Reis: If you look at humans from birth, what are your chances of surviving if you don’t have someone to care for you? You have no chance at all. Humans have a very long period of requiring that others take care of them. It turns out this is true not just for infants and children; this is true for adults, as well. We humans do much better when we’re embedded in a social network, when we feel like we belong, when we feel like we’re connected to other people. When we’re isolated and lonely, our work suffers, our mental health suffers, we even know that people die earlier when they don’t have this sense of belonging.
Sonja Lyubomirsky: A lonely moment is a moment when you’re not feeling loved. It’s like an evolutionary signal that something needs to be repaired, that your social bonds are not as strong as they need to be. And it’s a really important signal. In the past we might’ve died if we were lonely. And today it almost feels like you’re dying when you’re not feeling loved, when you’re feeling lonely.
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