Balancing Ourselves Within the Chaos

During the COVID-19 pandemic, human beings all over the world are experiencing losses ranging from things as small as dinner-date plans to things as large as their lives entirely. It seems all of us, especially those of us who are entering a transitionary phase in our lives, are wondering “Who am I, now that so much has changed?” As a 2020 graduate who is pursuing a certification in life coaching later this year, this question leads me to ask myself, “Who do I want to be in the midst of the chaos?” The challenge with answering the latter question is that it seems to require a person to determine what it is that they owe to the rest of the world. At times, it feels as if I should always be listening to the news, reading everything there is to know about viruses, and organizing initiatives to stop the spread of misinformation. However, when I tried doing these things, I noticed they caused a quick burnout of my energy and motivation. The isolation of social distancing and the fear of the changing world seems to be enough to cause many people to lose their minds. This means that the chief task for many has become working to maintain their sanity.  

In the final lecture of the CMU pop up course “Perspectives on Pandemics,” Dr. Nate Smith, associate professor in the department of English Language and Literature, shared an article titled “Fairy Tales and Facts: Siri Hustvedt on How We Read in a Pandemic.” The article explained that during times of massive change, people often turn to books to cope with the changing world around them. Some people read toward their fear (by reading pandemic or disaster novels) and others read away from it (seeking out sci-fi, romance, or perhaps mystery novels) to escape from the real world for a while. The author ultimately concludes that we should not feel guilty for indulging in either because it provides us a chance to get personal with ourselves during a time which we are constantly being plagued with impersonal facts and statistics. It gives us a chance to relate to something and reflect on our own experiences. If this is the sort of action which keeps us sane, and if a person feels they need to do something of this nature to maintain sanity, then perhaps we shouldn’t feel guilty for taking moments to be present with ourselves even when we know there is much that needs to be done to help our chaotic world. 

After taking the “Perspectives on Pandemics” class, I want readers to know for themselves that doing what allows them to maintain sanity is enough. I have genuinely come to believe that it takes bravery and patience to be able to swallow our pride and admit to ourselves that our minds and bodies need care to function properly. It is my hope that if we, myself included, are willing to take care of ourselves in the most basic ways, then we will increase our capacity and energy to aid others through this crisis. So, to answer the question posed above, I want to be a person who maintains a level head through this crisis. I want to be the person who has the energy to step up and help as much as possible. This means vowing to call out misinformation when I see it and offering up my able body to those who may need assistance, but only as long as the efforts are not burning out my capacity to continue doing so. This involves checking in with myself and looking out for moments in which my capacity to help could be improved by spending some time resetting. I wish for every person coping with the pandemic the courage not only to do what they can to help, but also the courage to seek balance in the distribution of their energy and efforts.